I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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