is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I love black thongs
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
