fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
not ubering you a puppy
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
