that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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