You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
