Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
