Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
