I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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