i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize