I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
