What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
