Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
