I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
