Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
