i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
