You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
