note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Randomize
