my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
