I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
did i just pee glitter
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
