So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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