It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize