so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
