Sponge bath it is.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
