1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
