You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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