Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
