he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
