be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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