I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
