i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
