I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
