She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
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