As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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