you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
they're like a gay fantastic four
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
