What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
