and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize