I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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