My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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