Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
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