Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
