how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
