I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
