thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He shit in the fireplace
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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