I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
