Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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