Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
