The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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