you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
