hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
