Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
