also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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