bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
