I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
