I think my fart just growled at me.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
