Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Randomize
