so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Green mimosas i think yes
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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