Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
