kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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