its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
