Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize