Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
