My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize