names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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