and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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