dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
