Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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