It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Do you have feelings for this penis?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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