I am puke
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
