This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
