I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
